Life Skills 101: A Practical Guide to Leaving Home and Living on Your Own

A Life Skills Book About Living on
Your Own for the Very First Time

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College Roommate Survival 101 by Tina Pestalozzi

Going off to college often means having to experience the challenge of arbitrary roommate assignment. Whether you know your roommate ahead of time or meet them on check-in day, being prepared for the experience may go a long way to contributing to a successful situation.

   It might be helpful to keep in mind that friendships seldom happen instantly and you'll need to give yours time to grow. Don't expect your roommate to be your instant best friend. If you have moved in with your best friend, be sure not to take advantage of the friendship, for instance, ask before borrowing something, even if you know your friend won't mind.

   Even the oddest couple can survive together if they thoughtfully make and honor a mutual agreement. Having an agreement worked out ahead of time on issues such as friends visiting, study hours, food, cleaning, borrowing and music, may help head off issues before they become big problems. Having a written agreement to pull out when sticky situations arise can be in both your best interests.

   Nail down who pays for what right upfront. Make arrangements that work for everyone regarding any mutual expenses. For example, don't agree to get cable service and split the bill and then resent paying for it because you never have time to watch TV.

   Consideration, communication and respect are key to any successful living arrangement. Make every reasonable effort to accommodate the needs of your roommate but make sure that you also stand up for yourself. Your grades shouldn't have to suffer because you constantly have guests in your room when you need to hit the books.

   Often, students tell their parents they are having trouble with their roommate before they even try to work it out. When issues arise, make every effort to talk about them with your roommate directly.

   It's great if you and your roommates have similar lifestyle preferences, but sometimes that just isn't the case. It may help to remember that differences do not have to be problems and that it isn't necessary to like someone to get along with them.

Content adapted from the new edition of Life Skills 101: A Practical Guide to Leaving Home and Living on Your Own, available from your favorite bookseller, library or from www.TheLifeSkillsBook.com

First Time on the Job? Ten Workplace Tips Teens Need to Know by Tina Pestalozzi

Whether you are new to the workplace or still looking for the right place to start, here are a few things to keep in mind to make your first working experience a successful one.

You show a great deal about who you are in your approach to your work. Demonstrate that you respect yourself enough to honor your commitment to your job. Be willing to give your best and be happy to be useful.

Be courteous. Are you pleasant to work with? Are your co-workers happy to spend time with you? Look carefully at your behavior. Employers want employees who can get along with everyone and are pleasant to be around. Never put people down or engage in mean gossip, or allow others to gossip to you. Keep both your promises and your confidences.

Make sure you are never late. Being late must never be more than a rare occurrence. Show that you are both dependable and responsible.

Truly make it a habit to think before you speak. Communicate as clearly as you can and always speak with respect.

Being a good listener is a skill that few fail to appreciate. This skill alone will help you immensely and when coupled with not interrupting others, will greatly contribute to your on-the-job success.

Make sure to dress appropriately. Too suggestive clothes are not for the workplace. Dress the way the person responsible for your promotions expects you to dress.

You may find that now is a good time to change how you manage your time. Work on developing the habit of planning ahead; for instance, make sure your work clothes are clean and that you have gas in your car well ahead of time. You may want to start a few new routines such as using a daily planner. Take the necessary actions to remain organized and to adjust to your new responsibilities.

Approach every job challenge and difficult situation as an opportunity to increase both your workplace and your interpersonal skills.

Whatever your job, remember that there is dignity in work, and great satisfaction can be gained from knowing you do your particular job well and give your best.

Don't forget that the contacts you make during a simple summer job may turn out to be life changing and affect the course of future events. For instance, leaving a lasting good impression with your employer may go a long way. You may need another job in the future or a strong personal reference for college or for a better job!

Content adapted from the new edition of Life Skills 101: A Practical Guide to Leaving Home and Living on Your Own, available from your favorite bookseller, library or from www.TheLifeSkillsBook.com

Off to College or the Workplace - The Top Ten Interpersonal Skills Teens Can't Leave Home Without by Tina Pestalozzi

Whether you're heading out the door to college or into your first real job - nailing down a command of basic interpersonal skills is a great way to prepare yourself for a successful future.

Knowing how best to interact with others and knowing what to do in every social situation will not only help boost your confidence but it will also help you be perceived positively. The good news is the basic rules are very simple and will become natural to you with a bit of practice and application. In the event you already know the rules but are not applying them as often as you know you should, you might want to consider getting in the habit of presenting yourself at your best at all times. Good interpersonal skills appear natural and automatic - they don't feel awkward because you're not just bringing them out on special occasions while trying to remember what's in the rulebook.

   The foundation for social skills, etiquette and good manners is respect. It's treating everyone respectfully and operating with mindfulness and awareness about how your behavior is affecting others. We all know what it feels like when we think someone has treated us disrespectfully, so it's easy to see why some version of the "Golden Rule" is still part of the philosophy of all the major spiritual traditions, and a growing number of corporate and small business cultures, as well.

   Shake hands correctly. For both men and women a good handshake is firm, connecting the space between your thumb and forefinger with the same space of the hand you are shaking. Be sure not to grab just the fingertips. As well, make sure you don't bend your hand and extend just your fingertips. Fully connect and shake, using a gentle up and down motion from the elbow. Be mindful not to squeeze too hard or shake too long. Do not hesitate in extending your hand. Regardless of gender, shaking hands is the acceptable greeting and should be done again when you say good-bye.

   Greet people effectively. Introduce yourself to people you do not know. Offer your hand, say your name slowly and clearly, and give a little information to help get the conversation going.

   Introduce people properly. Learn the mechanics of both a business and a social introduction. In business, introductions are based on precedence, not gender. This means you would introduce a peer to your boss, where as your boss would be introduced to a client or customer. In social introductions, a person is generally introduced to an older or more "distinguished" person and in most circumstances a man is still introduced to a woman.

   Stand up for introductions. Whether you are male or female, stand up when you are introduced to anyone and everyone unless there is a compelling reason for you not to do so, even when you hear, "Oh, don't get up."

   Maintain eye contact. Maintaining good eye contact with the person you are talking to gives the impression that you care what they are saying and that you are respectful. Avoid staring by occasionally looking at another feature of the face.

   Sound pleasant. Try not to be lazy in your speech. Whether we like it or not, we are all judged by the way we sound. Constantly using words such as "like," "you know," and "um" will not be to your best advantage.

   Truly listen. Really listening to people is a skill that few fail to appreciate - almost everyone just loves a great listener. This skill alone will help you immensely and when coupled with the practice of never interrupting others, it is a sure winner.

   Be aware of others. Be aware of how considerate your behavior is in public. Do you open doors for someone approaching behind you? Are you quiet and respectful in public places? Are you annoying others with your wireless phone conversation? How we treat people matters. The person you cut off at an intersection today may be the person you face at an employment interview tomorrow.

   Be friendly. Smile. Be warm. Learn the social skills you need to be comfortable with all people and practice your new skills until you appear at ease wherever you are.

Tina Pestalozzi is director of Global Protocol and Etiquette Services. She presents seminars on civility and business and social etiquette to corporate, government and educational organizations. This content was adapted from the new edition of Life Skills 101: A Practical Guide to Leaving Home and Living on Your Own, which is available from your favorite bookseller, or from www.TheLifeSkillsBook.com

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